making it to day 10

If you have just had a baby and are finding it difficult to breastfeed I hope this story encourages you  because often times when we talk to our moms or other mom friends about the pains and struggles with learning something completely new to us like breast feeding they've forgotten how hard it was at the beginning. You'll get the hang of it eventually just be patient with yourself and your baby.

The days following Archer's birth were a blur, but one day in particular sticks out the most, day 3. The first two days with Archer were blissful he was sleepy and snuggly he wasn't really interested in eating so we just lay in our sun drenched bedroom soaking up the quality time and in the evenings my mom would get up with him so Jake and I could try to recoup.

Then day 3 came around and Archer was a changed man! He didn't want to sleep or snuggle he just wanted to cry and try to eat (unsuccessfully). My milk had yet to come in and my wee babe couldn't latch onto the 2 ton boulders that were my boobs. Everyone I had spoken to in regards to breast feeding had positive things to say about how easy it was and  how their baby came out suckling, and those comments while well meaning made me feel like a failure.  On night 3 Archer screeched like a raptor only sleeping for 10 minutes at a time and still would not latch. I had to wake up and pump an hour before I knew he'd be hungry and back then I was pumping for 45min-1hour just to get the tiny bit of milk that he needed. We didn't sleep that night. At 5am I was in tears from exhaustion and frustration I texted my mom who was sleeping up stairs to come down and help us. She and Jake felt terrible for me and my breast feeding attempts, I was at the end of my rope, calling goat farms to see if anyone would sell me some unpasturized goats milk, going to lactation consultants, drinking copious amounts of mothers milk tea, taking tiny droppers of grain alcohol, and finally breaking down and telling my mom to go buy some formula. She had formula fed me and I turned out just fine. I had really hoped to breast feed him but it just wasn't working and I was exhausted. She (who had been encouraging me to get some formula) came back from the store and said "I got to the formula aisle and decided no, you can do this." This little bit of encouragement was all I needed to keep trudging through the sleepless nights, failed feedings, and endless pumping.

I reached out to lots of my mommy friends for encouragement and one great friend said with both of her babies things seemed to turn a corner and be much better at day 10. I had no hopes for that since that was the day Jake would go back to work and my mom would fly back to Phoenix. Day 10 came I woke up with puffy eyes because I had been crying scared to be alone for the first time with Archer afraid that I couldn't successfully take care of him and myself. Jake kissed me on the forehead and left for work, I drove my mom to the airport while both of us sniffled and tried to fight back tears, and then I took the lonely drive back to my house with a sleeping baby in my back seat. As soon as we arrived home he woke up hungry and as I always did I offered him my breasts first to feed and then if he didn't latch I'd give him a bottle. A miracle happened (well a miracle in my book) he latched to both breasts and ate heartily! I felt the stress melt away from me and from then on my supply of milk was abundant and my baby had the latch of a champion. It was the longest 10 days of my life and my friend was right from day 10 on it's been mostly amazing.           

Archer at birth 9lbs 3oz

Archer 2 weeks old 8lbs

Archer today! Gaining on average 1lb a week he is currently 16+lbs and loves him some breast milk!

What helped us:

Memorial Hospital lactation specialists

Medela Pump In Style Double Breast Pump

More Milk Plus Motherlove tincture

Mother's Milk tea

Lanolin

Cooling gel pads

Breastflow bottles

PATIENCE :)