No sleep 'til...

ba-na-nuh-nuh! Brooklyn! I sing this Beastie Boys song to myself almost every night as I trudge back and forth from my room to Archer's room.
It's a good thing my kid is cute.

It's a really good thing that he is so dang adorable because at 19.5 weeks he is still not sleeping through the night. We got close last week but then he started teething and now it is worse than ever. Notice > the newly wrinkled forehead, the dark circles, blood shot eyes, and not pictured my first gray hair.
Our nights go a little something like this:
6pm feed Archer
7pm bathe Archer
8pm put Archer to sleep for the night
9pm pass out in a spit up covered heap
11pm wake up to a pterodactyl scream
2:30am wake up to a velociraptor roar
4am wake up to farts so big I can't believe they are coming out of 16lb baby, followed by the screech of an eagle.
5:30 wake up to a pig squealing and feed Archer
6am get up, get ready, and go to work.
Repeat.

Everyone keeps telling me that things will get better and he has to sleep sometime and while I should take comfort in those words I don't, because I'm tired now and I want him to sleep better starting tonight.

Any suggestions friends? Here's a list of things we've tried:
tummy sleeping
side sleeping
back sleeping
gas drops
gripe water
babywise
no cry
dark room
bright room
dim room
co-sleeping
door open
door shut
sound machine

recently we've tried
hylands teething gel
ora gel
pacifiers (which work until they fall out of his mouth once he falls asleep)
tylenol and motrin (for teething not just to drug him)
an extra feeding before he goes down
banana after breast feeding
rice cereal after breast feeding

Until we figure out how to help this baby sleep I'll continue to be a zombie Mon-Fri and try to catch up on my sleep during his nap times Sat-Sun

making it to day 10

If you have just had a baby and are finding it difficult to breastfeed I hope this story encourages you  because often times when we talk to our moms or other mom friends about the pains and struggles with learning something completely new to us like breast feeding they've forgotten how hard it was at the beginning. You'll get the hang of it eventually just be patient with yourself and your baby.

The days following Archer's birth were a blur, but one day in particular sticks out the most, day 3. The first two days with Archer were blissful he was sleepy and snuggly he wasn't really interested in eating so we just lay in our sun drenched bedroom soaking up the quality time and in the evenings my mom would get up with him so Jake and I could try to recoup.

Then day 3 came around and Archer was a changed man! He didn't want to sleep or snuggle he just wanted to cry and try to eat (unsuccessfully). My milk had yet to come in and my wee babe couldn't latch onto the 2 ton boulders that were my boobs. Everyone I had spoken to in regards to breast feeding had positive things to say about how easy it was and  how their baby came out suckling, and those comments while well meaning made me feel like a failure.  On night 3 Archer screeched like a raptor only sleeping for 10 minutes at a time and still would not latch. I had to wake up and pump an hour before I knew he'd be hungry and back then I was pumping for 45min-1hour just to get the tiny bit of milk that he needed. We didn't sleep that night. At 5am I was in tears from exhaustion and frustration I texted my mom who was sleeping up stairs to come down and help us. She and Jake felt terrible for me and my breast feeding attempts, I was at the end of my rope, calling goat farms to see if anyone would sell me some unpasturized goats milk, going to lactation consultants, drinking copious amounts of mothers milk tea, taking tiny droppers of grain alcohol, and finally breaking down and telling my mom to go buy some formula. She had formula fed me and I turned out just fine. I had really hoped to breast feed him but it just wasn't working and I was exhausted. She (who had been encouraging me to get some formula) came back from the store and said "I got to the formula aisle and decided no, you can do this." This little bit of encouragement was all I needed to keep trudging through the sleepless nights, failed feedings, and endless pumping.

I reached out to lots of my mommy friends for encouragement and one great friend said with both of her babies things seemed to turn a corner and be much better at day 10. I had no hopes for that since that was the day Jake would go back to work and my mom would fly back to Phoenix. Day 10 came I woke up with puffy eyes because I had been crying scared to be alone for the first time with Archer afraid that I couldn't successfully take care of him and myself. Jake kissed me on the forehead and left for work, I drove my mom to the airport while both of us sniffled and tried to fight back tears, and then I took the lonely drive back to my house with a sleeping baby in my back seat. As soon as we arrived home he woke up hungry and as I always did I offered him my breasts first to feed and then if he didn't latch I'd give him a bottle. A miracle happened (well a miracle in my book) he latched to both breasts and ate heartily! I felt the stress melt away from me and from then on my supply of milk was abundant and my baby had the latch of a champion. It was the longest 10 days of my life and my friend was right from day 10 on it's been mostly amazing.           

Archer at birth 9lbs 3oz

Archer 2 weeks old 8lbs

Archer today! Gaining on average 1lb a week he is currently 16+lbs and loves him some breast milk!

What helped us:

Memorial Hospital lactation specialists

Medela Pump In Style Double Breast Pump

More Milk Plus Motherlove tincture

Mother's Milk tea

Lanolin

Cooling gel pads

Breastflow bottles

PATIENCE :)

that one time when Jake thought I was going to die

So! On to part two of Archer's birth and it's by far the less "romantic" portion of the evening. Same warning applies as the post before this one, birth is messy and sometimes there are gross things that happen so read at your own risk.
    There we were admiring our gorgeous bundle of joy while my midwife tinkered around on my lower half doing who knows what, I was on cloud nine and having nothing to do with what was happening in our bedroom. "Oh that's weird" Dana said and we came crashing back down to earth, this is not something you want to hear anyone say while staring straight at your privates...she asked Alletta for a clamp which confused me because Archer was just born and I knew she wouldn't clamp the cord while it was still pulsing. I cautiously asked her what was wrong. She said when our big baby was born the cord had a fold in it, she went to unfold it and it started coming apart like a piece of yarn kind of like this:

she clamped the cord before it broke so no harm would come to my sweet baby and then we were left with the dilemma that if I had any problems delivering the placenta she couldn't help and if she can't help that means I would have to drag my tired busted body to the E.R. for a D and C and leave my fresh little babe at home. I understood all of the above with out being told but my poor husband had no idea and when Dana looked up said the cord broke and asked Jake to please pray over me. He did and then she whisked me into the bathroom to try and push the placenta out into the toilet (T.M.I. I know). After a few minutes I got that sucker out and thankfully didn't have to go to the hospital. Upon examining the placenta we discovered it was hanging on to the cord by a two tiny blood vessels. It's incredible how God's hand was on me and my son, with the broken cord and the almost disconnected placenta (I have a pic but it's a little too graphic to share if you want to see it ask me sometime), I felt so well cared for and loved by my Lord. Meanwhile my poor husband was left alone in our bedroom holding his newborn son and thinking he was going to be a widower. I came out of the bathroom with a smile on my face just wanting cuddle time with my two favorite men and Jake seemed flabbergasted at my breezy disposition. He was actually angry, like you almost died and now you want me to cuddle with you?! I need answers! Once we realized why he was upset Dana and I explained to him what really had happened and apologized for not being better communicators. The time was 1ish in the am and I finally had a chance to try and feed my darling boy, but he was so sleepy from our 23 hour ordeal he would only cuddle with my boobs. Our door bell rang while I was trying to nurse and up the stairs bounded my mother, she had just taken a red eye from AZ to CO and since she arrived at the airport so late she took the first mode of transportation down the springs that she could, a town car. This woman dropped so much moula in an effort to make it to the birth of her first grand baby and missed it by an hour (my fault I was supposed to let her know I was officially in labor and in the midst of it all didn't). She came into the room said hello to me, just to be polite, and beelined for her favorite new human being. While the three of us sat in awe of Archer and regaled my mom with the story of his birth my midwife and her assistant did our laundry, left us with care instructions, and a promise to return in the morning to check on us.  It was 5am and finally time to go to bed! 

More on the first 10 days with a baby to come...

and then there were three...

Warning: This post may contain some graphic content after all birth is a tad messy, read at your own risk.

Our story begins late one warm summer night. I laid on our too small leather couch watching t.v. with my husband who was practically falling off the side of the little love seat so I could lay on my side, the only way I could comfortably exist at this point in my pregnancy. I had reached my breaking point, feet so swollen shoes wouldn't fit, hips so sore I couldn't sleep, a brain and body so exhausted I'd cry at sappy Applebee's commercials and the thought of walking up our stairs to go to bed. I had been absolutely sure going into this weekend that our little man was going to make his grand arrival. As we approached 11pm on Sunday night there I lay wheezing because my son was curled up under my lungs and moaning because I had stayed up too late, would have to wake up soon to get ready for work, and face all of the well meaning comments "You're still pregnant?!" "You look like you are about to pop!" and on not nearly enough sleep I'd have to fain amusement at these comments and try hard not make a snarky remark in return or just start throwing punches. As I heaved my ever burgeoning belly up 15 stairs I felt a very slight twinge in my abdomen. Having had painful Braxton Hicks contractions since I was 6 months pregnant I just figured that walking up the stairs was causing some false labor. I snuggled into my pile of support and body pillows and then felt the twinge again. I looked at the clock, it was 12:30am. Again I figured I'd stayed up to late and over did it this weekend trying to get encourage  our kid to come out already and was just having some Braxton Hicks. I lay in bed for another hour or so my mind racing at the possibility of giving birth soon and just as I started to drift off to sleep I had a big contraction. This did not feel like anything I'd had before and I knew then I'd be meeting my baby soon. I tried to remember what my Brio/Bradley instructor had told us to do when contractions started.

1. Go back to sleep
2. When you can no longer do #1 start timing the contractions
3. Only wake up your spouse when you absolutely have to so he can be well rested too.

I tried number one and had no success at around 3am I started timing the contractions at 5 I started panicking that like so many stories I'd heard before I'd labor all night just to have it stop in the morning, I'd heard taking a warm shower can stop labor or help progress it I decided to give this a try. After a 45 minute shower I popped my head into our bedroom where Jake was softly snoring to tell him that I was probably having a baby but not to get up, I was going downstairs to watch T.V. and keep timing my contractions. After 3 episodes of The Real Houseswives of New York City Jake came downstairs to see how I was feeling and if he should stay home, at this point I was having 30-60 second contractions with 3-6 minutes in between. I felt fine I could still get up and go to the bathroom get myself a glass of water so I told him to go ahead and go to work and I'd call him if things changed. I called my midwife at 9 because I didn't want to wake or bother her (I was still in a little bit of denial that I was having a baby) she said she'd check back with me in an hour to see how I felt. Meanwhile Jake called and texted me non-stop while at work and finally at 10 he said he was coming home, I was grateful just because I was bored and didn't know how much longer I'd have to sit at home alone watching terrible reality television. At 11am my midwife showed up with her assistant just to see how I was fairing. They let themselves in because in less than an hour I'd gotten to the point that walking across the room was too hard. After they saw the little nest of pillows I'd made in the living room and how pale my face was they rushed around getting me food and hydrating me and finally doing the exam. I was 6cm dialated and 100% effaced all this happened with out even breaking a sweat I was relieved but very aware of how long it could take to get to the additional 4cm. Jake arrived shortly after them and quickly got to work massaging my shoulders and waiting on me hand and foot.

At 2pm the ball really started rolling my midwife Dana and her assistant Alletta stepped out for some lunch and Jake and I were left to manage pain together. He was an incredible help, he applied counter pressure to my lower back like a champion! He made sure every muscle was loose reminding me to unclench my fists and relax my jaw so all my energy stayed focused on delivering our kiddo. We had been planning to deliver our little guy at home since I was about 4 months pregnant I had so much peace about this decision and was really looking forward to the experience. I really wanted a water birth so my midwife filled up a relaxing heated tub right in front of our flat screen in the living room. We had the Housewives marathon on mute, Rich Mullins' The Color Green playing on the ipod, and my wonderful midwife came by my side to encourage me with a devotional and a prayer. I closed my eyes and leaned over the cushioned edge of the hot tub with every contraction. This was the part in class they referred to as transition.I didn't want  anyone talking to me, I didn't want to be touched or moved. I was in the tub for 2 long hours when Jake encouraged me to be examined by Dana. She discovered that in 2 hours I had only moved up a centimeter. My heart sunk. I had been doing a ton of work for 2 hours which felt like an eternity at the time. She thought the tub was perhaps a little too relaxing and the lack of gravity wasn't helping my big baby move down. She politely requested I go up and down the stairs for a while. This was a huge challenge for me not in labor I cried at the thought of doing it while riding the waves of contractions. I made it up to the top of our stairs and knelt down and cried through a HUGE contraction. I made it back down the stairs and was greeted by yet another huge contraction. I told Dana I couldn't do that again. She asked me when the last time I slept was and I had to think...I suppose it was Saturday night. She could tell I was exhausted and asked me to go up those stairs one more time but this time Jake could help me and the two of us were to snuggle into bed and try to get some rest between these intense waves.

The contractions over the next 2 hours came on fast and steady. Poor Jake's hands were exhausted from pushing on my lower back so hard. He and Alletta took turns pushing on my back, holding my hands, giving me water,Gatorade, pasta salad, and fruit. I've never been more cared for in my life! If a contraction started and neither of them were there to apply counter pressure (God forbid they have to go to the bathroom) all holy hell broke loose, I was a like a crazed animal making guttural noises that would scare an exorcist. I guess those noises were a sign to my darling midwife that it was time to begin pushing. She did one last exam and found that I was just shy of 10cm. One bit of cervix had yet to thin out and make it over my boys head so she asked if she could hold it back while I pushed and I said yes. Thankfully I was so pumped up with adrenaline I felt nothing and the joy and relief of getting to push was indescribable! Finally I was able to help my body make progress. My bags of water were still intact and I was pushing so hard they were expecting the bottom bag to burst and we'd have a Sea World splash zone scenario, but an hour dragged on with out any water breaking. I was coming up on 22 hours with no sleep and after every push I'd cry whyyyyyy? My husband wanted to answer but being a smart man who values his life he'd just dab my head with a cool wash cloth and tell me I was doing great. We tried laboring on my side, squatting, and laying on my back with my legs in the air like a beetle bug. The last position, the beetle bug, aka McRoberts was the one I stuck with because I could lay down and I was too exhausted to do anything else, they tried to get me to move and I'm sure I incoherently told them some version of leave me alone. After a few more unsuccessful efforts to push hard and

 break my own water, my midwife broke it for me. Again the adrenaline was amazing and I felt nothing! I pushed once after that and was told my son had a ton of hair and after another push they said I could feel his head if I wanted. I was too tired to even lift my arm so Jake did it for me. He said my pupils dilated and I had a rush of energy which was a good thing because once my water was broken I had dcontraction on top of contraction on top of contraction. I felt like I was at a sporting event everyone was standing over me cheering me on and Dana was loudly praying supernatural strength into my tired muscles. 45minutes from my water breaking and a few pushes later there it was the sweetest little cry. What seemed so suddenly (even though it took 23hours) a chubby, HAIRY, warm little body was placed on my chest and for the first time I laid eyes on my precious Archer and he looked right back at me alert and adorable. His little bottom lip was trembling and while I cooed at him to let him know he was safe and immeasurably loved I noticed he was the spitting image of his father. I looked to Jake to see his reaction, he was on the cusp of collapsing into a exhaustion and joy induced fit of laugh/crying.

I've never seen him look so happy! His expression then beat out the one he wore when I walked down the aisle almost 5 years earlier. This moment was the most perfect thing that ever existed. I'm going to let you revel in it with me a little bit while I work on Pt. 2 of his birth and our first few days with a new born.









JOY! UNSPEAKABLE JOY!

  
Archer Abishai Steven Kelly
Born June 27th at 11:35pm weighing 9lbs 3oz (and a 15in head!)